What Is Your Secret Agenda?
Now, when I talk to people, they pride themselves at their ability to convince people.
Now, convincing is distinct from enrolling.
Let’s really examine this dynamic a little bit.
Convincing really comes from your mind.
Your mind, your thoughts, your agenda informs your speaking. And what are you thinking about? You’re thinking about achieving the result you want to achieve.
Now, turns out that inauthenticity starts to creep in into that dynamic.
I’ll give an example.
I want to sell you a widget and I’m talking to you that, ‘Sir, this widget is going to do great things for your business, and you’ve got to buy them and you’ve got to work with them and we guarantee it, it is really really good for you.’
And that’s the agenda I’m presenting to you.
But there’s a secret agenda in my mind and my secret agenda is I got to sell 100 widgets, and you happen to be the customer, I’m hoping to sell 50 of them to you.
Now we’ve got two agendas.
One which is declared that this widget is good for you is the declared agenda.
The other agenda that’s at the back of my mind is I’ve got to sell these.
Now, you’re not a fool.
You’ve been around and you can sense this kind of hidden agenda that’s there in the process.
And as I’m engaging in this whole process of convincing you, the more I’m attempting to convince you the more you’re pushing back, and the more you push back the harder I try to convince you, it becomes an adversarial situation and in that adversarial situation the effectiveness factor of producing a result is very very low.
Now, if you look at the other way, there is a better way, by the way.
The better way is enrolling and enrolling comes from your listening informing your speaking as opposed to convincing.
In convincing your thinking is informing your speaking and you are thinking, you are factoring all that stuff, whereas in enrolling your listening is informing your speaking. And as you start listen, you move away from your secret agenda of selling those 50 widgets to assisting the process of buying because you’re listening and you’re speaking, you’re listening and you’re speaking, and in that listening and that speaking what begins to happen is the person starts to trust you, there is a rapport that builds up and slowly slowly slowly the objections you work through, the considerations you are able to work through and they get enrolled.
Now, there’s a movie that I would highly recommend you to watch, its Sir Attenborough’s movie called Gandhi, where Ben Kingsley did a fabulous job to bring the essence, the soul of Mahatma Gandhi alive.
Mahatma Gandhi is one of the greatest enrollers that the world has ever known.
If you just go through that movie and see how he works with people through this process of enrolling, and that process of enrolling has got him one of the most amazing results which is freedom for India.
Due to that process of enrolling, you will find the effectiveness with clients, with your employers starting to move.
Convincing will just produce more resistance in the system, more effort and struggle, more trial and error.
You’re not going to get the results that you’re looking for.
Enrolling facilitates all of this in a very very powerful way.
Video reference number: 022022